https://catrionaboffard.com/ Ever had a question you felt too embarrassed to ask, and instead asked that question “for a friend”? Hosted by Clinical Sexologist and Psychotherapist Catriona Boffard, Asking for a Friend brings you fascinating and interesting conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships, and mental and physical health. In each episode, Catriona will bring you evidence-based information and real-world advice on topics that are not often discussed but that we really need to normalise and talk more about. She’s joined by special guests who are all experts in their fields or have lived experiences of these topics. Follow Catriona on Instagram at @sexologywithcatriona Sexuality en Mon, 28 Sep 2020 09:32:13 +0200 Thu, 11 Aug 2022 12:16:27 +0200 30 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss iono.fm 2.5.2.0 Catriona Boffard no Catriona Boffard Weekly feeds@iono.fm (Feed Manager) https://cdn.iono.fm/files/p2031/logo_5758_20250910_202302_1400.jpeg https://catrionaboffard.com/ Everhadaquestionyoufelttooembarrassedtoask,andinsteadaskedthatquestion“forafriend”? HostedbyClinicalSexologistandPsychotherapistCatrionaBoffard,AskingforaFriendbringsyoufascinatingandinterestingconversationsaboutsex,... Catriona Boffard episodic Catriona Boffard catriona.boffard@gmail.com false ZA https://iono.fm/e/1214385 https://iono.fm/e/1214385
This season I’ve wanted to cover a range of topics that we need to be speaking more about, understanding better and particularly, a lot of topics I wish we would normalise and share more openly on.

In this season’s final episode, I answer the following questions:

1) I get super wet. Sometimes I get shy about it. Is it normal? I know men love it but I worry.

2) I never want sex anymore, what can I do to change this?

3) Are sex toys degrading towards men?

4) I struggle with pain during sex. I can use tampons and worked with a physio to manage this on my own but as soon as a man comes near me, I freak out. Why can’t I get over this?

5) I want to become a sexologist… how do I do this? I’m in my first year at university studying.

I can’t wait for some very exciting content coming your way soon. Keep an eye out for what’s next on Asking for a Friend.

This week’s episode is sponsored by & Bam. Erectile Dysfunction can be awkward to talk about, and this makes it hard to treat. &BAM connects you with a doctor and, if suitable, ships prescription treatment plans discreetly to your door. Stop whispering erectile dysfunction at the pharmacy counter. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 11 Aug 2022 12:12:00 +0200 0 0 Season four finale Q&A - S4E11 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 43:01 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1212369?v=1 https://iono.fm/e/1212369?v=1
If there’s someone to learn from about the science of sexual desire, it’s Dr Kristen Mark. She’s a prolific researcher and academic, who’s published and taught extensively on the topic, among other areas in the field of sexual health. She is a behavioural health scientist with an academic background in psychology and public health, and a research interest in sexuality and romantic relationships. She is a professor at the University of Minnesota Medical School and the Director of Education in the Institute for Sexual and Gender Health, within the Department of Family Medicine and Community Health. She is also an Affiliate Research Faculty member at the Kinsey Institute. She is a widely published author and speaker, and is a wealth of knowledge on the topic of sexual desire!

In this episode, Kristen and I delve into the truth of sexual desire; one which is pretty far from what we get taught, get told or see on screens. Understanding that differences in desire is normal between partners could in fact protect for your relationship!

Check out more of Kristen’s work here: http://www.kristenmark.com

This week’s episode is sponsored by My Sexual Health – Credible Sexual Health Providers. Mysexualhealth.co.za is an online destination where you can find or become a Credible Sexual Health Provider.

The My Sexual Health Sexology Starter Pack includes 20 (yes, TWENTY!) value-packed sexual health courses that will transform the way you support your patient’s sexual health needs. Check out this episode for a major discount to the Sexology Training Club. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 04 Aug 2022 11:37:00 +0200 0 0 The science of sexual desire, with Dr Kristen Mark - S4E10 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 45:57 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1209918 https://iono.fm/e/1209918 When someone is learning to navigate a disability, the topic of sex and more specifically, pleasure, are repeatedly left out of the conversation, often leaving people feeling like this part of themselves is something that should cease to exist.

My guest today, Makgosi Letimile, completely challenges this narrative and practice. As a disabled woman, mom, sex worker and someone who reviews sex toys, she has refocused her work on promoting pleasure and sexual curiosity for disabled people, in spite of the rigid narrative. Through her own exploration, she has discovered how pleasure can be used not only as a means to enhance her sexual wellbeing, but also as a therapeutic tool to regain bodily function.

You can follow Makgosi on Instagram: @wheelsntoys

This week’s episode is sponsored by My Sexual Health – Credible Sexual Health Providers. Mysexualhealth.co.za is an online destination where you can find or become a Credible Sexual Health Provider. Check out the episode for a discount on the Sexology Training Club. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 28 Jul 2022 09:37:00 +0200 0 0 Disability & pleasure, with Makgosi Letimile - S4E9 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 57:03 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1207705 https://iono.fm/e/1207705
This week I’m speaking to two experts in this field, Elliot Kotze and Ronald Addinall. Both work in the field of mental health and have specialised in gender-affirming healthcare, and both share with me their own journeys around their gender identity. This is a particularly beautiful, honest and authentic conversation that I think is a must-listen no matter what your knowledge on the subject or who you identify as. my guests also share with me some invaluable advice for parents to help them understand and navigate gender identity.

Ronald Addinall identifies as a Queer, Masculine of Centre, Gender Non-Binary human who is a clinical social worker, sexologist, activist and highly regarded academic. Elliott Kotze is a counselling psychologist and researcher with extensive experience in gender-affirming healthcare and queer sexual health. His work broadly focuses on improving the quality of life of queer and gender diverse folks through the strategic implementation of community-driven interventions. They are both based in Cape Town.

This week’s episode is sponsored by My Sexual Health – Credible Sexual Health Providers. Mysexualhealth.co.za is an online destination where you can find or become a Credible Sexual Health Provider.
The My Sexual Health Sexology Starter Pack includes 20 (yes, TWENTY!) value-packed sexual health courses that will transform the way you support your patient’s sexual health needs.

Check out the episode for an incredible discount for this training bundle ]]> Sexuality Thu, 21 Jul 2022 15:47:00 +0200 0 0 Navigating gender identity, with Ron Addinall & Elliot Kotze - S4E8 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 56:06 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1205029 https://iono.fm/e/1205029
My guest for this episode is Avri Spilka, a clinical psychologist specialising in sexuality in Johannesburg, who is also the president of the Southern African Sexual Health Association (SASHA). She’s highly experienced in helping clients navigate kink and helping people achieve a satisfying and rewarding sex life. I’ve known Avri for many years and respect her work and approach to sex positivity immensely.

This episode really will expand your view of kink and may even stir some curiosity within you!

For more about Avri, visit her website: https://avrispilka.co.za

This episode is sponsored by & Bam. Erectile Dysfunction can be awkward to talk about. This makes it hard to treat. &BAM connects you with a doctor and, if suitable, ships prescription treatment plans discreetly to your door. Stop whispering erectile dysfunction at the pharmacy counter. Visit andbam.care, that’s andbam.care, and use the code CATRIONA at checkout for a R50 doctor’s consult and 30% off your first shipment. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 14 Jul 2022 09:18:00 +0200 0 0 Kink 101, with Avri Spilka - S4E7 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 55:11 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1202847 https://iono.fm/e/1202847
My guest today is Jonathan Bosworth (he/him/his), a counselling psychologist in Johannesburg, working in private practice, and at the Wits Reproductive Health and HIV Institute (Wits RHI) Trans Health Centre. He cofounded and facilitates: groups for mental healthcare professionals working with sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, and sexual characteristics (SOGIESC), and non-monogamies; a support group for parents and caregiver of gender diverse youth; and support space for educators working with gender diversity. He has special interests in identity and relationships (how we relate to ourselves and others).

Jonathan has presented formally on the subject of consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and I knew when I attend that presentation that I wanted to learn more from him. I so often get people asking me if monogamy is ‘normal’ and to that I answer, socially it seems to be but it’s not the only normal. This deep-dive into varied types of relationship dynamics is enlightening and fascinating, and hopefully answers a lot of questions that people may have about relationships.

You can connect with Jonathan here: http://www.thejoburgpsychologist.co.za

This week's episode is sponsored by My Sexual Health – Credible Sexual Health Providers. Mysexualhealth.co.za is an online destination where you can find or become a Credible Sexual Health Provider. Tune in to the episode for a discount on the Sexology Training Club and become a credible sexual health provider. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 07 Jul 2022 15:58:00 +0200 0 0 Consensual non-monogamy, with Jonathan Bosworth - S4E6 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 48:16 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1200432 https://iono.fm/e/1200432
After the birth of her son, Genevieve was severely unprepared for her journey into matrescence. After an emergency C-section, the first time mom had no idea that the coming months of navigating life with a newborn would change her life fundamentally. Genevieve helps me understand just how difficult birth can be and how unsupported women often are in this transitional process, and speaks about birth trauma and its nuance within the South African private healthcare system as a mother who experienced it as well as a postpartum doula whose many clients do too.

Check out Gen’s work online here: https://www.thenewnormal.support/ or on Instagram: @t.h.e.n.e.w.n.o.r.m.a.l

This week’s episode is sponsored by BYY. BYY is the fastest growing parenting portal in South Arica, offering expert advice, free resources and support to the parenting community. Check out Babyyumyum.co.za for more information. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 30 Jun 2022 15:04:00 +0200 0 0 Birth trauma, with Genevieve Putter - S4E5 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 56:11 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1196837 https://iono.fm/e/1196837
Valentina Leo is a renowned and trusted Tantra teacher, who’s philosophy to tantra centres around deep desire and devotion to become truly intimate with reality. Italian born but living in Cape Town for many years now, she’s a well-known teacher in the tantra space and trusted and loved by those who are her students.

In this episode, renowned and trusted Tantra teacher Valentina Leo takes us on a journey of wisdom and truth, in trying to understand what tantra is, and that there is no one definition for it. Valentina shares her wisdom with me about the practice of tantra in everyday life and in sex, and how ultimately, tantric practice starts with the individual and should always be about one seeking their own truth. There’s so much to learn in this episode, but don’t expect a set of instructions. Rather, be prepared to become even more curios and intrigued in how tantra could expand not just your sex life but your life as a whole.

Find Valentina Leo’s work on YouTube and connect with her through her website www.fascinatingwonderment.com

Today's episode is sponsored by Desir, South Africa’s leading sexual health and wellness brand. Desir believes that sexual health is not just about the latest sex toy, but about using products to improve one’s overall sexual health and wellbeing. For 15% off online, use the code FORAFRIEND. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 23 Jun 2022 15:15:00 +0200 0 0 Tantra, with Valentina Leo - S4E4 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 1:03:05 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1194304 https://iono.fm/e/1194304
My guest today is a professor of urology and the Head of Department of Urology at Dr George Mukhari Academic hospital and Sefako Makgatho Health Sciences University in Pretoria South Africa, Shingai Mutambirwa.

Shingai and I had a very honest and real discussion about what those with a penis can experience sexually and why you’ve got to give yourself a break and place less pressure on yourself in how you expect your sexual experience to look like.

This episode is sponsored by &BAM. Erectile Dysfunction can be awkward to talk about. This makes it hard to treat. &BAM connects you with a doctor and, if suitable, ships prescription treatment plans discreetly to your door. Stop whispering erectile dysfunction at the pharmacy counter. Visit andbam.care, and use the code CATRIONA at checkout for a R50 doctor’s consult and 30% off your first shipment. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 16 Jun 2022 11:57:00 +0200 0 0 Men's sexual wellbeing, with Prof Shingai Mutambirwa - S4E3 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 48:43 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1192034?v=1 https://iono.fm/e/1192034?v=1
Dr. Patti is a Clinical Sexologist, Sexuality Educator and is known as the “Mother of Sex Coaching” with top level credentials. As a well-respected world leader in sexology, she is an academic, author, popular speaker, trainer and workshop leader, and hosts over 40 DVDs for couples’ sexual enhancement. She is a frequent guest on summits, television shows, documentaries, live talk and news radio, podcasts and magazines, such as Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Women’s Health. She has a private practice near Los Angeles and via Zoom globally. Dr. Patti is the Co-Founder of SexCoachU, the world’s premier credentialing and training organization for sex coaching. Dr. Patti accepts VIP sex coaching clients, especially those referred by their therapist.

You can access Dr Patti’s work here: www.BrittonMastermind.com or https://drpattibritton.com/

Sex Coach U website: https://sexcoachu.com/

Her free workbook is available here:

https://drpattibritton.com/freegift/

Her brilliant textbook on developing and running a SAR is available on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Designing-Leading-Successful-Patti-Britton/dp/1138236993

This week’s episode is sponsored by My Sexual Health – Credible Sexual Health Providers. Mysexualhealth.co.za is an online destination where you can find or become a Credible Sexual Health Provider.

You can access the Sexology Training Club via the website on: Sexology Courses

And My Sexual Health: Sexual Health & Sex ]]> Sexuality Thu, 09 Jun 2022 16:35:00 +0200 0 0 Sex Coaching, with Dr Patti Britton - S4E2 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 1:00:20 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1189644 https://iono.fm/e/1189644
With her focus in emotion focused therapy (EFT), Laurie beautifully details how common patterns between partners, that of the withdrawer and the pursuer, can play out sexually. Anyone who’s ever had a sexual partner should listen to this, as I have no doubt that you’ll learn more than think you can about yourself and your sexual style.

You can find out more about Laurie here: https://awakeningscenter.org/therapists/laurie-watson

Foreplay Radio sex therapy, the podcast she co-hosts with couple’s therapist George Faller, is consistently in the top 10 on iTunes.

This week's episode is sponsored by Desir, South Africa's leading sexual health and wellness brand. Desir believes that sexual health is not just about the latest sex toy, but about using products to improve one’s overall sexual health and wellbeing. For 15% off at www.desir.co.za, use the code FORAFRIEND. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 02 Jun 2022 13:11:00 +0200 0 0 Sexual pursuers and withdrawers, with Dr Laurie Watson - S4E1 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 45:58 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1113097 https://iono.fm/e/1113097 I’ve had the privilege of speaking to yet another 11 amazing people, who’ve spoken to me about everything from sex and stress, to mindfulness, period poverty and how to have extraordinary sex. I’ve learnt a fortune from my guests this season and I hope you have too.

As always, I end the season with a Q&A of some question you’ve sent to me over the past few months. Today’s episode addresses the following:
1) What impact do contraceptions have on libido? Are they linked to anxiety?
2) What is the difference between intimacy and sex? Isn’t sex enough when it comes to intimacy?
3) How do we recreate closeness since we are always together since the pandemic began?
3) I feel very unconfident in bed after coming out of a 4 year relationship (he’s the only guy I’ve slept with) and I constantly worry about how someone else will find me in bed. Help!

I’ll be back in early 2022 with a brand new season and more incredible guests, speaking to topics we need to talk more openly and easily about. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 14 Oct 2021 17:43:00 +0200 0 0 Season three finale Q&A - S3E12 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 25:49 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1110145 https://iono.fm/e/1110145
Who better to speak to about this than the global leader on this topic, none other than the prolific Prof Peggy Kleinplatz. Peggy is a professor of Medicine and a Clinical Professor of Psychology at the University of Ottawa. She teaches Human Sexuality at the University of Ottawa, and is their Director of Sex and Couples Therapy Training. She is also a clinical psychologist. She is considered prolific in the field of sexual health research; being a highly respected and accomplished clinician, her work on optimal sexual experiences is not only exciting but ground-breaking too.

You can read up on Peggy’s work here: www.optimalsexualexperiences.com

Her book, “Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers” is a must read! ]]> Sexuality Thu, 07 Oct 2021 15:15:00 +0200 0 0 Extraordinary sex, with Prof Peggy Kleinplatz, S3E11 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 47:18 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1107035 https://iono.fm/e/1107035
In my opinion, if there’s one person globally who you would want to talk to to learn from or get treated by, it’s my guest this week. She is none-other than my friend and mentor, Dr Elna Rudolph. Elna is a South Africa sexologist and medical doctor who has been working in the field of sexual health since 2010. She founded South Africa’s leading multidisciplinary team, My Sexual Health, and the training platform, The Sexology Training Club. She is the president of the Southern African Sexual Health Association (SASHA), and has just been appointed as the new president of the World Association of Sexual Health (WAS). She is loved and hugely respected by anyone who meets her, and goes above and beyond for not only her patients and colleagues, but to advance the field of sexual health in a direction of inclusivity, sexual justice and sexual rights for all.

You can find out the practice Elna started here: www.my sexual health.co.za

If you want to improve your knowledge or skills in sexual health, sign up with the Sexology Training Club here, using my discount code BOFFARD for a discount: www.sexologycourses.com ]]> Sexuality Thu, 30 Sep 2021 10:47:00 +0200 0 0 Treating sexual pain, with Dr Elna Rudolph - S3E10 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 48:23 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1104146 https://iono.fm/e/1104146
To explain to you just how powerful this practice can be, I chatted to Dr Lori Brotto, a clinical psychologist, author and researcher in Canada, who is considered the world’s leading expert on the subject. Lori and I take a deep dive into just how useful mindfulness can be for your sexual experience. Mindfulness, the act of paying attention to the present moment, moment-by-moment, without judgement is not supposed to be easy. It can help us manage our emotions and improve our ability to connect with our bodies. We also delve into the difference between compassion and complacency – a concern so many people express when I talk about using mindfulness to change one’s relationship with sex.

Dr Brotto practices in British Columbia, Canada and is a faculty member of the University of British Columbia. Her best selling book, “Better sex through mindfulness” is in my top 10 books I’ve ever read! ]]> Sexuality Thu, 23 Sep 2021 08:13:00 +0200 0 0 Can mindfulness really improve your sex life, with Dr Lori Brotto - S3E9 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 44:45 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1101213 https://iono.fm/e/1101213
Attachment theory relates to the type of attachments we have to our primary care givers growing up (usually our parents), which can predict what sort of relationship dynamics we might be experience as adults. The more insecure we are as children, the more we struggle as adults and vice versus.

Dr Stan Tatkin is a world-leading voice in couples therapy and human behaviour. He is a therapist, teacher, author, researcher and developed PACT – a psychobiological approach to couples therapy. His books are best-sellers across the world, and I often recommend them to my clients and colleagues.

Stan is on Instagram @drstantatkin
His website, https://www.thepactinstitute.com, is full of useful resources for clinicians and couples. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 16 Sep 2021 09:27:00 +0200 0 0 Attachment styles, with Dr Stan Tatkin - S3E8 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 56:19 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1098114 https://iono.fm/e/1098114
Prof Trudy Smith is one of the most highly regarded physicians in the field of obstetrics and gynaecology; both locally and internationally. And she has does extensive work and research around the menopause – the time after a woman’s last menstrual period (usually around the age of 49-51).

Trudy and I discuss several aspects of this stage of a woman’s life, including early menopause, what to do when you are in the menopause, and why Japanese women are known to have almost no menopausal symptoms. We obviously discuss how sex is affected by the menopause, and actually, that it can be liberating sexually rather than the myth that it’s the ‘end of your sex life’.

Prof Smith consults with only gynaecology patients in Johannesburg, after recently given up obstetrics after many years. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 09 Sep 2021 09:06:00 +0200 0 0 Making sense of menopause, with Prof Trudy Smith - S3E7 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 37:52 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1094524 https://iono.fm/e/1094524
Our journey is not all the same, and it’s important as someone who’s giving/given birth to recognise this. There’s so much information out there and too much thinking about what we “should” be feeling. Clare and I delve into how to be ok with what’s happening to you and your body, and how to prepare for changes that inevitably take place. Talking to Clare was a breath of fresh air. She speaks to honestly and clearly about what women can really experience around their bodies, births and sex.

She’s amazing to follow on Instagram @clarebournephysio
In the episode, we mention the amazing brand Yes organics @yesorganics ]]> Sexuality Thu, 02 Sep 2021 09:17:00 +0200 0 0 What to expect when you're expecting, with Clare Bourne - S3E6 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 48:22 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1091428 https://iono.fm/e/1091428
Ever realised that in a new relationship, you notice the same things happen from previous relationships? In this week’s episode, I’m chatting to Dr Amani Zarroug, a Clinical Psychologist and Relationship and Psychosexual Therapist. She specialises in a variety of mental health problems, and has been working in this field for the past 20 years. Amani enjoys working with individuals and couples to improve the quality of their relationships, and their sexual satisfaction.

We talk about relationship patterns and common problems that couples could face. I own up about things I realise I have done and have had to reflect on in terms of my own relationships. And Amani emphasises that owning our role in the dynamic that plays out between a couple can really make a massive difference in your relationship.

You can follow Amani and her work on Instragram here @dramanizarroug
She runs her practice in London, but also consults online. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 26 Aug 2021 09:58:00 +0200 0 0 Recognising relationship patterns, with Dr Amani Zarroug - S3E5 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 50:03 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1088260 https://iono.fm/e/1088260
Siv is not the person you’d expect to be behind a major national menstrual product drive (or be a nationals winning pole-dancer and drag queen). He’s ferociously fighting the injustice that girls and women experience daily across South Africa. And he doesn’t feel he’s the one who needs the credit.

There’s the word men in menstruation, and as Siv rightly points out, without menstruation, humanity wouldn’t exist. He also believes that if men bled once a month, period products would be free (and I absolutely agree).

This is a very real conversation. Siv doesn’t hold back and I’m so glad he doesn’t… but it might be triggering to listen to.

Siv is on Instagram @sivngesi, and you can find out more about his incredibly work here: https://menstruation.foundation
Please consider donating to the MENstration foundation: https://menstruation.foundation/donate/ ]]> Sexuality Thu, 19 Aug 2021 08:10:00 +0200 0 0 Fighting Period Poverty, with Siv Ngesi - S3E4 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 50:34 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1084764 https://iono.fm/e/1084764
We use the term addiction too freely – addicted to chocolate, to Netflix and so on. But if we struggle with compulsively wanting sex, we aren’t addicted to it, but rather that we compulsively need to engage in a sexual behaviour in order to soothe, decrease distressing emotions or perhaps to feel something at all.

In this episode, I chat to the wonderful Silva Neves, the brilliant psychosexual therapist and author of the recent textbook Compulsive Sexual Behaviours. Whether you are someone who has experienced this or a clinician who wants to work with these concerns, we can all learn from Silva’s no-nonsense and empathic approach to treating sexual compulsivity.

You can follow Silva on Instagram (and you should, he’s fabuslous) @silvanevespsychotherapy
He runs his practice in London, but also consults online. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 12 Aug 2021 09:29:00 +0200 0 0 Sexual Compulsivity, with Silva Neves - S3E3 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 56:37 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1081972 https://iono.fm/e/1081972 I spoke to the lovely Carly Rowena, a personal trainer, Youtuber and mother to the cutest little girl, Jax. Following Carly on Instagram, I have repeatedly sent her messages of praise for the way that she is raising her daughter – in a sex-positive, permission-filled way! She helps her daughter understand her body by using correct anatomical terms, promoting permission and not shame around gender and bodies, and allowing her daughter to grow up with a view that will without a doubt only benefit her when she is an adult. And Carly wasn’t raised by her own parents talking openly about sex. Carly also talks so honestly on her Youtube channel about sex, relationships and life… she is one influencer you actually will feel good from following!

Bravo Carly! Thanks for being a role model for womxn and other parents when it comes to the topic of sex!

Follow Carly on Youtube or on Instagram @carlyrowena ]]> Sexuality Thu, 05 Aug 2021 08:52:00 +0200 0 0 Being a sex-positive parent, with Carly Rowena - S3E2 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 43:37 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1079135 https://iono.fm/e/1079135
And what a way to start - bringing you a conversation I had with one of the most impactful people in the field of sexuality. If you’ve spent any time with me, you’ll have heard me say that she’s the person to follow in the field of sexuality, that her books are an absolute must-read and, in my opinion, should be syllabus in all schools, and now having met her, I can also say she’s the coolest and just nicest person.

She is a prolific sex educator and best-selling author of two books, Come as you are and Burnout (which she co-authored with her identical twin sister). She travels all over the world, training therapists, medical professionals, college students, and the general public about the science of women’s sexual wellbeing.

In this episode, Emily and I discuss the most important aspects of sex, what you all need to know about yourself sexually, and how stress impacts our mind, bodies and sexual experience. We also get deep, discussing the impact of heteronormative, patriarchal narratives and capitalism on our sexuality. And Emily courageously opens up to me and shares about some experiences she’s had in her life that have helped her understand her body under stress.

Emily’s work is incredible. You should read it, know her and follow her! https://www.emilynagoski.com
She mentions Tricia Hersey, The Nap Bishop, and suggests you check out her amazing work @thenapministry ]]> Sexuality Thu, 29 Jul 2021 07:57:00 +0200 0 0 From sexual response to stress response, with Dr Emily Nagoski - S3E1 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 1:07:53 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1024921 https://iono.fm/e/1024921
In this episode, I am answering the following questions sent to me by listeners and followers (and one friend):
1. My orgasms are just not as intense as they used to be… what’s happening?
2. My new boyfriend says he can’t orgasm with a condom on, and I’m not using a contraceptive. Is withdrawing ok?
3. My partner doesn’t like going down on me! Is that normal or is it something wrong with me?
4. Why do people want to have phone sex?
5. Should every woman aim to be a squirter for optimal sexual pleasure?

See you soon for season 3, and even more fascinating and necessary conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships and wellbeing. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 15 Apr 2021 12:04:00 +0200 0 0 Season two finale Q&A - S2E12 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 21:47 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1021311 https://iono.fm/e/1021311
Dr Mintz is a therapist with nearly 3 decades of experience, a professor at the University of Florida teaching the Psychology of Human Sexuality, and a highly regarded speaker and author, who has dedicated her career to female pleasure and promoting sex positive conversations and education among the students she’s taught. She is the author of the hugely popular books “Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It” and “A Tired Women’s Guide to Passionate Sex”.

In this episode, Laurie and I discuss everything you need to know about female pleasure. If you identify as a woman or have sex with someone who does, then you need to listen to this episode! We talk sexual anatomy, the right to pleasure, what’s wrong with the way we’re taught about sex, and how to get the most pleasure possible.

Dr Laurie Mintz is utterly wonderful to follow on Instagram and you can find her there @drlauriemintz. Her website is www.drlauriemintz.com, and you can purchase her books online there too!

This is what the clitoris really looks like… https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/what-is-the-clitoris ]]> Sexuality Thu, 08 Apr 2021 11:53:00 +0200 0 0 Closing the orgasm gap, with Dr Laurie Mintz - S2E11 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 50:53 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1018621 https://iono.fm/e/1018621
In this discussion, we delve into the toll that depression and burnout can have on mental and sexual health. Haydn shares intimately about how his experiences impacted his self-worth, his sexual response and his relationships. As someone who sees himself as a 'boys-boy', these experience could have been even more challenging had he not shifted his thinking to a growth mindset.

You can listen to Haydn’s podcast on all major platforms, find him at their F45 gyms in London, or reach out on social media to @haydn.elliott ]]> Sexuality Thu, 01 Apr 2021 09:00:00 +0200 0 0 Challenging masculine norms, with Haydn Elliot - S2E10 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 45:56 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1015309 https://iono.fm/e/1015309
This week I’m chatting to Rae Kennedy, a registered nurse and a certified holistic sex educator, who runs the brilliant platform “Positive Results”. Rae seeks to smash stigma and normalise sex-positive education and conversation around this topic.

We chat about what herpes is and what it feels like, how to prepare yourself to talk to your partner about it, and which myths we really need to debunk (such as you can’t have a natural vaginal delivery if you have herpes 2).

Rae shares a helpful resource for partners, which you can find here: www.maketimeforthetalk.com. She is on Instagram @positive_results_us and her website www.positiveresults.support ]]> Sexuality Thu, 25 Mar 2021 10:19:00 +0200 0 0 Making sense of herpes, with Rae Kennedy - S2E9 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 52:41 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1012188 https://iono.fm/e/1012188
Candice is a physiotherapist specialising in pelvic and sexual health. Through her work in private practice and via her very popular and real social media platforms, she tackles topics like pee, poo, periods, pain and pleasure, and advocates for a fundamental shift to the way we think about, speak about and have these experiences. Candice is based in Ballito, but consults online where possible as well.

Her course “From pain to pleasure” is available via https://sexologycourses.com and if you use the code “friend” you will get 10% off! It’s a comprehensive 4 hour course that could really help you overcome challenges relating to painful sex. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 18 Mar 2021 11:03:00 +0200 0 0 Why your pelvic floor is so important, with Candice Langford - S2E8 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 1:08:53 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1008627 https://iono.fm/e/1008627
Stephen Laverack is Counselling Psychologist seeing individual and couples in private practice in Johannesburg. His background in HIV and sexual health education drives his interest in psychosexual therapy, whereby he aims to create a comfortable and open space for clients to open up about their sexual concerns.

Stephen helps me to dispel myths about couples therapy, shares with us what he frequently sees in his own practice, and advises couples on how to get the most out of the therapy space.

You can connect with Stephen via email on stephenlaverack@gmail.com ]]> Sexuality Thu, 11 Mar 2021 08:31:00 +0200 0 0 What really happens in couples therapy, with Stephen Laverack - S2E7 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 52:30 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1005229 https://iono.fm/e/1005229
On this week’s episode, I chat to Dr Christopher Fox, a psychosexual and relationship therapist practicing in Melbourne, Australia. He’s also the clinical director of the Masters program in Sexual Health at the University of Sydney, where I actually studied and met him. He’s also a European certified Psychosexologist as I am, and he’s someone with a wealth of experience helping clients manage sexual and relationship difficulties.

In this episode, we talk about how “low desire” is not something bad and how we need to rework our notion of desire within relationships in order to have more satisfying sex lives.

You can connect with Chris via his website www.sexlifetherapy.com.au or on Instagram @sexlifetherapy ]]> Sexuality Thu, 04 Mar 2021 09:59:00 +0200 0 0 What you should really know about sexual desire, with Dr Christopher Fox - S2E6 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 59:57 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/1001846 https://iono.fm/e/1001846
This week I chatted to registered counsellor Casey Blake, who has a special interest in sexuality, gender, parenting, relationships, and trauma. Much of her career has focused on the emotional and psychological implications for people in a society where open and honest conversations about sex are frowned upon. She runs workshops for parents and caregivers that help feel more competent and confident to have age appropriate conversations with their children. So much of what Casey shares in this episode are concepts and lessons we all need - whether you have kids or already or you're planning to have kids someday.

You can find out more about Casey and her work by visiting her website: www.whatnowcounselling.co.za or on Instagram @toolsforhavingthetalks ]]> Sexuality Thu, 25 Feb 2021 11:37:00 +0200 0 0 What parents should know about sex ed, with Casey Blake - S2E5 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 53:21 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/998260 https://iono.fm/e/998260
Stanley Ducharme, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and consultant specializing in the areas of sexual dysfunction, gender, physical disability, addictions, relationship issues and concerns of daily living. With over 25 years of clinical experience, Dr. Ducharme has worked with a wide variety of problems and has gained national and international recognition for the scope and quality of his work.

Often a forgotten part of human identity following a spinal cord injury, we explore why you should focus on relearning sex and pleasure early on, how one’s relationship can be impacted, and why a disability does not mean the end of your sex life!

You can learn more about the incredible work Stanley does via his website:

http://stanleyducharme.com ]]> Sexuality Thu, 18 Feb 2021 10:09:00 +0200 0 0 Navigating sex after a spinal cord injury with Dr Stanley Ducharme - S2E4 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 51:47 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/994831 https://iono.fm/e/994831
Dr Anthony Smith has been practicing family medicine for over 20 years, but has specialised in human sexuality and is a fellow of the European Society of Sexual Medicine. He is the current president of the Southern African Sexual Health Association (SASHA) (who run amazing free monthly webinars by the way), and he lectures at the University of Cape Town in human sexuality. Like me, he is also committed to educating fellow clinicians in South Africa in sexual health. 

In this episode Anthony and I delve into his experiences of treating patients sexual health, and in particular the experience that men have with their sexuality. Our conversation takes us from how COVID has impacted people seeking out help for sexual health concerns, to how pleasure is most often excluded from the patient-doctor interaction. He explores with me the expectations of young men around their sexual health issues, and what the difference is between younger and older men sexually. We have a lot of work to do to break down the shame associated with taking care of our sexual health, and this episode with Anthony is more evidence as to why we need that to happen, especially for men.

You can find out more about Anthony’s work here: https://www.dranthonysmith.co.za ]]> Sexuality Thu, 11 Feb 2021 14:00:00 +0200 0 0 Men's sexual health in the medical space with Dr Anthony Smith - S2E3 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 58:39 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/991378 https://iono.fm/e/991378
Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh is a social psychologist and global thought leader in the fields of couples counselling, cross-cultural fluency, diversity and inclusion. She has numerous awards and accolades, is a respected author of both academic and general books and papers, and is a trusted expert for global media, including for the BBC, CNN and . She’s also someone I look up to and respect hugely in our field. She has extensive experience researching and working with couples to overcome challenges in love and sex that they bring to her therapy room.

Sara and I delve into the vast topic of love; exploring the varying types of love we experience, and how we make sense of it now in the 21st century. I asked Sara what exactly makes for a happy, healthy and sustainable relationship between romantic partners. We explore the differences between sexual chemistry and sexual harmony, and how sexual attraction and love are not enough for a relationship to thrive. And finally, we discussed sex and pleasure, and the complex nature of these experiences individually and culturally.

You can find Sara’s work on website: www.relationship-panoramic.com

Instagram: @dr.saranasserzadeh

Podcast: The Little Black Fish

This episode is sponsored by Desir, South Africa’s leading sexual health and wellness store. Desir believes that sexual health is not just about the latest sex toy, but also about using great products to improve one’s overall sexual health and wellbeing. For 15% off, use the code FORAFRIEND at checkout (minimum spend R500: www.desir.co.za). ]]> Sexuality Thu, 04 Feb 2021 12:20:00 +0200 0 0 Modern concepts of love, sex & pleasure with Dr Sara Nasserzadeh - S2E2 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 1:03:41 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/988135 https://iono.fm/e/988135
This week’s guest is Tobias Penno, an Emotional Health Practitioner & Social Worker from Australia. After years of professionally managing extreme child, family and relationship stress, Tobias has found his passion in healing Emotional Pain & Trauma through the body. He is a researcher at the University of Western Australia, with an award-winning dissertation titled How Ayahuasca Offers Psychosocial Wellbeing and is currently working on a PhD researching the links between attachment trauma, the body, and best-practice in psychedelic integration therapy.

In this episode, we delve into the misconceptions of psychedelics, how Tobias uses preparation and integration therapy alongside psychedelics to assist clients struggling with common mental health difficulties, and how psychedelics could be used to improve our experience of sex and why.

You can learn more about Tobias and his work here:
Website: www.emotionalhealthcare.com.au
Facebook: Emotional Health Care
Instagram: @emotional.healthcare

Note: I do not condone the use of any substances recreationally, and this episode is not about encouraging substance misuse. This is about science and developing research in treating mental health difficulties.

This episode is sponsored by Desir, South Africa’s leading sexual health and wellness store. Desir believes that sexual health is not just about the latest sex toy, but also about using great products to improve one’s overall sexual health and wellbeing. For 15% off, use the code FORAFRIEND at checkout (minimum spend R500: www.desir.co.za). ]]> Sexuality Thu, 28 Jan 2021 15:53:00 +0200 0 0 Psychedelics with Tobias Penno - S2E1 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 1:03:04 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/972280 https://iono.fm/e/972280
This season has seen me talk to leading experts about everything from sexual pleasure to perinatal mental health issues. From erections to sexual pain. I’ve spoken to incredible experts and I’m eternally grateful for their time and knowledge that they have so generously shared with me and you, my listeners.
In this episode, these are the questions I address. I hope that you find one or some of them interesting. And who knows, maybe there’s something you would have ‘asked for a friend?’

1. Does my lack of sexual experience matter to men? Do they care? Is it weird?
2. Why I find it hard to “get in tune” sometimes?
3. Eating disorders and the impact/ link with sex?
3. Why do some people like hurting the other during sex? Isn’t that abusive/ psychological reasons?
4. Is it normal that I’ve never had a vaginal orgasm but my gf has them all the time?
5. Whether sex with a larger woman is as pleasurable to men?
6. What impact do antidepressants have on me sexually?

If you’d like to ask something for a friend, get in touch with me! ]]> Sexuality Thu, 17 Dec 2020 11:20:00 +0200 0 0 Q & A - S1E12 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 24:47 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/969340 https://iono.fm/e/969340
We bust myths, tell you what you really need to know, break down what HPV is and talk a little about how we wish things would change in order to eradicate cervical cancer. We speak a lot to the experiences of womxn, but this episode is for everyone!

You can find Dr Mpume on Instagram @dr.gynae. She sees patients in Sandton, Johannesburg. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 10 Dec 2020 11:49:00 +0200 0 0 HPV: what we all need to know with Dr Mpume Zenda - S1E11 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 52:50 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/965095 https://iono.fm/e/965095 Sexuality Wed, 02 Dec 2020 12:00:00 +0200 0 0 Perinatal mental health with Tamlyn Anderson - S1E10 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 40:31 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/962034 https://iono.fm/e/962034
Aoife is a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist and is currently carrying out a Doctorate in Psychotherapy. With a BSc and Msc in psychiatry Aoife has always had an interest in intrusive thoughts, with a particular focus on the shame associated with sexual ones. Aoife runs her practice online seeing both couples and individuals. You can find her amazing work on Instagram at @drurytherapy. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 26 Nov 2020 09:38:00 +0200 0 0 Unwanted sexual thoughts with Aoife Drury - S1E9 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 43:04 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/958278 https://iono.fm/e/958278 Cam is on Instagram @thecamfraser, and he has his own fantastic podcast: Men, sex & pleasure with Cam Fraser ]]> Sexuality Thu, 19 Nov 2020 07:57:00 +0200 0 0 Expanding male sexuality with Cam Fraser - S1E8 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 56:35 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/954725 https://iono.fm/e/954725
This is a topic that most of us (including myself) know little about, and yet when I interviewed Dr Jenny Coetzee – a highly experienced public health researcher – I knew I wanted to share what I’d learnt. Despite sex work apparently being the world’s oldest profession, most people hold particular opinions about sex workers, and don’t have a enough understanding of what it’s really like and what sex workers in low income areas might experience and be exposed to. Jenny shares the human side of sex work with me, and her fascinating findings of the research she’s done in South Africa. This is a real and honest conversation, and Jenny doesn’t sugar coat things about the experiences these female sex workers go through.

You can find out more about the Africa Potential Foundation here: https://africanpotential.com ]]> Sexuality Thu, 12 Nov 2020 08:48:00 +0200 0 0 Sex Workers with Dr Jenny Coetzee - S1E7 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 41:09 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/951194 https://iono.fm/e/951194
You can find Byrony on Instagram @futureofsex, and her podcast is Future of Sex. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 05 Nov 2020 08:45:00 +0200 0 0 The Future of Sex Tech with Bryony Cole - S1E6 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 42:40 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/947579 https://iono.fm/e/947579
You can reach out to Prof McIntosh via her Instagram page @disa_clinic

Desir, South Africa’s leading sexual health and wellness brand, is on Instagram @desir_official, and Dipsea, where you can listen to wonderful audio erotica, is @dipseastories and through your app store. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 29 Oct 2020 10:17:00 +0200 0 0 Breast cancer & sexuality with Prof Elna McIntosh - S1E5 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 45:31 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/943824 https://iono.fm/e/943824
You can reach out to Lisa and the team at The Vaginismus Network via Instagram @thevagnetwork or on their website thevaginismusnetwork.com ]]> Sexuality Thu, 22 Oct 2020 08:07:00 +0200 0 0 Vaginismus with Lisa Mackenzie from the Vaginismus Network - S1E4 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 59:11 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/940444 https://iono.fm/e/940444
You can reach out to Kate via her Instagram page @katemoyletherapy. Her podcast, Sexual Wellness Sessions, is available on all major podcast platforms. ]]> Sexuality Thu, 15 Oct 2020 14:25:00 +0200 0 0 Sex and anxiety with Kate Moyle - S1E3 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 44:36 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/936534 https://iono.fm/e/936534 Sexuality Thu, 08 Oct 2020 09:09:00 +0200 0 0 Erectile dysfunction with Mojo Men - S1E2 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 39:01 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/933002 https://iono.fm/e/933002 Sexuality Thu, 01 Oct 2020 09:27:00 +0200 0 0 The right to sexual pleasure with Dr T S1E1 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 47:28 Asking For A Friend https://iono.fm/e/931125 https://iono.fm/e/931125 Hosted by Clinical Sexologist and Psychotherapist Catriona Boffard, Asking for a Friend brings you fascinating and interesting conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships, and mental and physical health. In each episode, Catriona will bring you evidence-based information and real-world advice on topics that are not often discussed but that we really need to normalise and talk more about. She’s joined by special guests who are all experts in their fields or have lived experiences of these topics. Follow Catriona on Instagram at @sexologywithcatriona ]]> Sexuality Mon, 28 Sep 2020 09:52:00 +0200 0 0 Pilot - Welcome to Asking For A Friend 0 0 Catriona Boffard full 2:55 Asking For A Friend