https://www.jacarandafm.com/jacpod/ Single and looking for love? Buckle up! Join Philicity Reeken - seasoned radio host and fellow dater - as she unpacks the myths, mysteries, and madness of modern romance. With hilarious stories, real talk, and expert advice, this podcast helps you navigate the exciting (and sometimes awkward) world of dating. Whether you're a seasoned swiper or new to the scene, Philicity’s got you covered. So, ditch the dating app fatigue and join the journey - because finding love shouldn’t feel like a full-time job! Relationships en Thu, 24 Apr 2025 10:34:04 +0200 Thu, 03 Jul 2025 05:00:00 +0200 30 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss iono.fm 2.5.2.0 JacPod no Philicity Reeken Weekly feeds@iono.fm (Feed Manager) https://cdn.iono.fm/files/p612/logo_9306_20250905_171228_1400.jpeg https://www.jacarandafm.com/jacpod/ Single and looking for love? Buckle up! Join Philicity Reeken - seasoned radio host and fellow dater - as she unpacks the myths, mysteries, and madness of modern romance. JacPod episodic JacPod diane@ecr.co.za false ZA https://iono.fm/e/1571692 https://iono.fm/e/1571692
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the chaos that is dating — the frustrations, the patterns, the disappointments, the occasional glimmers of hope — and how many of us, especially in the straight dating world, seem to be stuck in this endless loop of confusion.

So it got me wondering:

Are these struggles — the ghosting, the miscommunication, the emotional unavailability — just part of the straight dating experience?

Or is this something that crosses the board, no matter who you love or how you identify?

Is it possible that dating is actually easier — or at least different — in the queer community?

Or is it just a whole different set of challenges?

I didn’t want to make assumptions. So, I did what any curious, slightly frustrated person would do:
I called up a few of my queer friends — people I trust, who live and love honestly — and I asked them some questions. I have MANY questions.

Let’s get into it. Podcast page on Jacaranda FM]]> Relationships Thu, 03 Jul 2025 05:00:00 +0200 0 0 Are We All Playing by the Same Rules? 0 0 Philicity Reeken full 51:33 true Love, Dating and Chaos https://iono.fm/e/1568838 https://iono.fm/e/1568838 In this episode, we cover topics including sex, mental health, grief, cannibalism, and a whole lot more. So if you're listening around little ears—or you’re not in the mood for some very real, very raw conversation—maybe hit pause and come back when the time’s right. This episode is for adults (18+) only.

Now, onto the good stuff.
In this episode, I’m joined by one of my favourite humans on the planet: Danny Painter.
Danny is someone who gets me. She understands the chaos, the heartbreak, the healing, and everything in between, because she’s been on her own journey too. She shows up with honesty, vulnerability, and zero filter in the best way.
She’s raw. She’s real. She’s warm. She’s wildly talented. And above all, she’s just an authentically great human being.
It’s truly my greatest pleasure to sit down with my friend, my peer, and someone I deeply admire—Danny Painter. Podcast page on Jacaranda FM]]> Relationships Thu, 26 Jun 2025 05:00:00 +0200 0 0 What is our Problem? (with Danny Painter) 0 0 Philicity Reeken full 46:35 Love, Dating and Chaos https://iono.fm/e/1566837?v=1 https://iono.fm/e/1566837?v=1 Someone I really look up to — who’s done really well at this marriage thing — is Jacaranda FM colleague, Gerda de Sousa. I want to figure out: how does she do it?
It’s been many years, they’re still very much in love, they’ve got a kid… I just want to know how.
Because sometimes, you’ve got to learn from the people who are in the trenches.
(Not that marriage is a trench. Anyway, moving on.)

In this episode:

00:00 Welcome to Love, Dating and Chaos
00:22 Introducing Gerda de Sousa
00:47 The tweezer trick
01:24 Marriage tricks and solutions
02:31 Tony's hidden vacuum cleaner
03:45 Marriage realities and reflections
03:55 Philicity's marriage story
05:10 The amicable divorce
05:59 The challenges of marriage and parenthood
07:44 The importance of familiarity in marriage
10:59 The beginning of Philicity and Tony's relationship
14:58 The wedding and family dynamics
20:09 Philicity's reflections on motherhood
21:40 The impact of parenthood on relationships
23:33 Philicity's personal growth and dating advice
25:52 Navigating love and loneliness
27:42 Challenges of modern parenting
29:49 Marriage: the good, the bad, and the funny
36:55 Finding the right partner
45:10 The importance of financial discussions
46:33 Final thoughts and gratitude Podcast page on Jacaranda FM]]> Relationships Thu, 19 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0200 0 0 What Makes a Strong Marriage? (with Gerda de Sousa) 0 0 Philicity Reeken full 48:29 Love, Dating and Chaos https://iono.fm/e/1564767 https://iono.fm/e/1564767 I’m talking about my daughters, Simone and Zhara, 22 and 20. Becoming a mom to them shaped who I am as a person. So I thought, why not sit down with them and pick their brains about something a little personal: me—and specifically, me dating.
We talk about my dating life, my experiences, and yes, even my marriage. (If you didn’t know, I was married. We’ve been divorced for a long time now.)
I figured it would be fine—because they love me. And also, they kind of have to be nice to me… I’m their mom. We can only hope. Podcast page on Jacaranda FM]]> Relationships Thu, 12 Jun 2025 05:00:00 +0200 0 0 What Do My Daughters Think? 0 0 Philicity Reeken full 29:14 Love, Dating and Chaos https://iono.fm/e/1562443 https://iono.fm/e/1562443
Joining me is Shantelle Engelbrecht, who does exactly that. She’s the force behind Coloured Girls Rock, an incredible Facebook community that’s grown into something massive. It’s a space for the coloured community—men, women, kids—to share, support, and sometimes spill the wildest stories you’ve ever heard.

We talk about being bold, honest, and unafraid to want more. Because honestly, why deny what your heart wants? Why pretend you’re fine when you’re not? Sometimes, if you’re lucky—and just a little bit brave—you might even change your mind.

Let’s see where this one takes us.

In this episode:

00:00 Introduction to Love, Dating and Chaos
00:08 The audacity to speak your truth
01:09 Challenges in dating within the Coloured community
02:59 Personal dating experiences and preferences
06:28 The five slot dating system
08:52 Hilarious and horrifying dating stories
17:04 Swimming dates and makeup
17:30 Tinder adventures in Cape Town
18:09 Dealing with online criticism
19:42 A memorable Tinder date
23:35 Dating preferences and red flags
27:07 Green flags and dating standards
29:06 Final thoughts on dating
31:22 Conclusion and podcast wrap-up Podcast page on Jacaranda FM]]> Relationships Thu, 05 Jun 2025 05:00:00 +0200 0 0 How Do Some People Have the Audacity? 0 0 Philicity Reeken full 32:54 Love, Dating and Chaos https://iono.fm/e/1560566 https://iono.fm/e/1560566
In this episode of Love, Dating and Chaos, I put on my investigator hat—think Sherlock Holmes or Angela Lansbury, but the African edition—and find out if we as South Africans date differently. Because yes, while there are tons of global platforms out there, there are also homegrown options designed with South Africans in mind.

I’m joined by two incredible women who have made a career out of hitching people up. First up is Lieze Wolfaardt, the founder of Smooches, a proudly South African dating app that takes a more thoughtful approach to matching. Then I speak to Michelle De Lange from Mingle—who is, wait for it, a real-life matchmaker. Not an algorithm, not a swipe. An actual human helping other humans find love.

Imagine that.

And just to round things out, I’ve got a story from Xola Ntshinga, who shares his own very weird experience.

In this episode:

00:00 Welcome to Love Dating and Chaos
00:23 Exploring South African Dating Apps
01:05 In-Depth with Lieze Wolfaardt from Smooches
02:07 The Realities of Online Dating
04:12 Personal Experiences and Insights
07:37 Challenges of Modern Relationships
15:14 Story Time: A Man's Perspective on Dating Apps
19:10 Interview with Matchmaker Michelle De Lange
24:26 The Last Straw: Deciding to Move On
25:35 Explaining Infidelity to Children
26:39 Advice for Parents in Troubled Relationships
27:36 Empowering Women in the Dating World
28:24 Challenges of High-Powered Women in Dating
29:18 Men's Preferences and Dating Dynamics
30:27 The Importance of Compatibility
33:30 Personal Dating Experiences and Lessons
35:23 Red Flags and Green Flags in Relationships
42:41 Safety Tips for Modern Dating Podcast page on Jacaranda FM]]> Relationships Thu, 29 May 2025 06:00:00 +0200 0 0 Do South Africans Date Differently? 0 0 Philicity Reeken full 46:15 Love, Dating and Chaos https://iono.fm/e/1557842 https://iono.fm/e/1557842
This whole podcast is about love, dating, and the chaos that comes with it. Not just in my life, but in other people's lives too. I'm trying to figure out where I might be going wrong, where I should be looking, what I should be doing, and what people are actually looking for.

I'm part of a WhatsApp group. Who isn't? (That's a whole other podcast.) I thought to myself, you know what, let me throw it out there. I’ll do a bit of a case study and talk to people I don’t know that well about love, dating, and all the trials we go through.

Luckily for me, Geordie and Nirin reached out and came to chat about their experiences in the dating world.

Of course, I had to get a guy’s perspective too. It wouldn’t be fair if it was just women ganging up on the guys. Maybe we as girls are doing something wrong.

Anyway, let’s see.

Coming up in this episode:

00:00 Introduction to Love, Dating, and Chaos
01:01 Personal Dating Struggles and Reflections
01:27 Challenges of Dating with Children
04:45 The Quest for Peace in Relationships
07:54 Dating Younger Partners
09:59 A Story from Philicity's Love Life
14:15 Online Dating Adventures
15:34 The Awkward Date Scenario
15:43 Dating Rules and Boundaries
16:36 Modern Dating Challenges
17:08 The Chicken Wings Incident
17:51 Transactional Relationships
22:26 The Importance of Communication
24:59 Physical Preferences in Dating
28:28 Concluding Thoughts on Relationships Podcast page on Jacaranda FM]]> Relationships Thu, 22 May 2025 05:00:00 +0200 0 0 Are Men and Women Really that Different? 0 0 Philicity Reeken full 29:53 Love, Dating and Chaos https://iono.fm/e/1555419 https://iono.fm/e/1555419
Luckily, I have a great bestie—Stacey Norman. She’s a long-term relationship kind of girl, a true serial dater. I’ve always admired that. She’s dated, I haven’t - and I’ve started to wonder: is it me? What am I doing wrong?

So I asked her. I needed honest feedback from someone who knows and loves me. Ideally, she tells me it’s not me, men suck - and oh, she’s found me a boyfriend.

Let’s hold thumbs.

Coming up in the episode:

00:00 Introduction and Personal Dating History
01:21 The Evolution of Dating
01:47 Best Friend's Perspective
03:36 Analysing Past Relationships
14:39 The Challenges of Modern Dating
15:58 Dating App Strategies
17:51 Setting Boundaries and Expectations
18:55 Rules for Online Dating
19:10 The Seven-Day Rule
19:33 First Impressions and Judgments
20:34 A Memorable First Date
23:51 Self-Realisation and Intentions
25:32 The Fear of Vulnerability
30:46 A New Relationship Perspective
37:33 Trusting Your Gut
41:27 Final Thoughts and Reflections Podcast page on Jacaranda FM]]> Relationships Thu, 15 May 2025 05:00:00 +0200 0 0 Am I The Problem? (with Stacey Norman) 0 0 Philicity Reeken full 42:37 Love, Dating and Chaos https://iono.fm/e/1552825 https://iono.fm/e/1552825 Podcast page on Jacaranda FM]]> Relationships Tue, 06 May 2025 12:00:00 +0200 0 0 Love, Dating and Chaos Launches 15 May, 2025! 0 0 Philicity Reeken full 0:27 Love, Dating and Chaos